A Testament to Kindness

By now you've heard all about hero Antoinette Tuff, right?

Just to recap, she's the incredibly brave woman who, while relieving a fellow co-worker in the front office of the elementary school they work at, found herself face-to-face with a crazed gunman.  And with kindness and love, she convinced this crazed gunman not to go through with his plans to murder countless children and teachers.  While he fired his AK-47.  And shouted demands.  And said he was off his medication.  And was locked in the room with her.  She told him that she loved him.  That we've all been in tough spots.  That he was brave to surrender.  She saw the humanity in him and she saved lives.  If you haven't listened to her remarkable 911 call, it is worth your time.

I can't imagine being in that situation.  And I can't imagine that I'd be able to look down the barrel of a gun and react with such poise, grace and balls/ovaries of steel.  But I do know that I want to live my life a little more like Antoinette:  with more compassion and kindness.

Kindness is something I've been thinking a lot about lately.

I recently read George Saunders's speech to the new graduates of Syracuse University and what he chose to impart really sat with me.  He didn't emphasize "following your dreams" or capitalizing on the opportunities their degrees were going to provide.  He talked about living a life of kindness.  After relaying a story about a girl that was in his seventh grade class who was picked on and how he was not one who bullied her but he was also not one who was overly nice to her, he asks rhetorically what he regrets most in his life.  He answers with this:

So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly.  Reservedly.  Mildly.Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope:  Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?Those who were kindest to you, I bet. 

(Another thing I highly recommend:  Read George Saunders's speech in it's entirety.  I'm printing it out...and highlighting my favorite bits.  It should be required reading for everyone.)

This graphic has been floating around Pinterest lately:

I'd like to think I'm a nice person.  But don't we all think that of ourselves?  The thing is, being nice and being kind are too different things.  Being nice speaks to me of being polite.  Being kind speaks to me of showing love.  I think it's possible to be "too nice."  But being "too kind"?  I don't know if that's possible.  And I know that there are times in my life when I could have been kinder.  Not so quick to judge or to be snarky or to be dismissive or defensive.  When I look at my sweet boy who doesn't know yet how cruel the world can be and how we build walls around our hearts and throw barbs before they can be thrown at us, I want to be better.  I want to be more open.  I want to be more like him.  

Somewhere along the line I started equating being kind as a weakness.  But Antoinette Tuff has reminded me that being kind can be one of the greatest shows of strength.  It's easy to be unkind in a world that is cruel.  It's reactionary, treating perceived slights with slights in return.  It's a greater challenge to rise above the mean/sarcastic/defensive/scary and to show kindness to those who need it most.  

So, from here on out, I'm making a concerted effort to be kinder.  There will be times, no doubt, when I will fail but I'm making it a goal.  In fact, I failed already today at the grocery store when a man ran into me because he was texting and I gave him a "yeah right" look when he apologized.  He apologized. And I was snarky.  Who's the jerk now??  I don't want Owen mimicking that behavior! So I'm challenging myself to be a testament to kindness.

Because "what the world needs now is love, sweet love." 

And I hope I can be a part of that love.  

And maybe it will be reflected in my son's life.  

And maybe that love can change the world.

Sick House and Photo Recap of the Month

It's been a busy summer and it's just sinking in now how much we've been on the go...you know, because we're all sick...

Baby Boy got his first cold and I fell victim to it a day later.  Then a day after that Dan, his parents and our nieces got it too. And then my sister.  This has been one demon of a sniffle.  We had a full house this past week, with my in-laws and nieces visiting and even though we all got sick, we still had a great time together.

Everyone headed back home yesterday and we started Operation: Disinfect in our apartment.  Nine loads of laundry, vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing, and trying our best to rest in the meantime.  Even though Owen has had a runny nose, he's still been pretty active and smiley...until yesterday.  Maybe it was because the house was quiet again but he finally started acting a little sick:  wimpy and a little fussy and taking epic naps...that I joined him for.

Sleeping on Mommy

So while we take it easy and get healthy again, here's a photo recap of the things we've done in the past month:

• On our trip to Baltimore, my mother-in-law threw a party for friends and family to come and meet Owen.  Among the attendees, childhood friends who I haven't seen since high school graduation!  They live in DC now and drove up to visit.  So fun catching up!

Whoa. You've known these people for how long, Mom?

• Owen also went to the National Aquarium in Baltimore, where he got to see grouper like the ones we were going to eat in the Keys, where he tried to pet all the fish and where he zonked out from all the excitement.

You're gonna catch this, Dad?

Ma! Can I take one home with me?

Good night.

• On his first trip to the Florida Keys (a family vacation we have been doing now for nearly 25 years), he turned 5 months old, drove a boat, hung out poolside, took in sunsets and met his almost-birthday-twin: my cousin's daughter Olivia, born the day before him.

I got this, Grandpa.

Hanging with my homies.

Cool toys, Olivia! Thanks for sharing!

• We had a week of rest before my in-laws and nieces traveled west to see us.  We drove up to Sequoia National Park where he saw the biggest tree in the world, took in amazing views, attended an outdoor BBQ and went exploring caves.

Just chillin' in my overalls for this BBQ.

Ma! I'm in a cave!

The world is pretty, Mommy.

• Back at home, he went to the Walk of Fame for the first time and seemed to like it as much as me (not much). He also went to the Santa Monica Pier where he did, in fact, like the balloons.

No pictures, please! Paparazzi always hounding me.

Can I have one, Mom?

Phew! Time for us to rest...no wonder we're a little run down!  Send us good health vibes :)

And more exciting baby news...my cousin gave birth to her first born on Tuesday!  Welcome to the world Piper Grace!!