An 8-year-old's Tip to Making Friends

At the wedding last weekend, there were two little boys, about eight years old.  They were meeting each other for the first time. Their dads were like, "Hey, have you guys met?  This is Jack*."  And, "This is Charlie*."  The boys shouted their "Hi's"and then one asked the other, "Do you like trucks??"  "Yeah!"  "Do you like monster trucks??"  "Yeah!"  And that was it.  They were friends.  Later seen boogying on the dance floor.

Don't you miss that simplicity??  I think from now on when I meet new people I'll start with, "Do you like wine?  Me too!"  And that will be it.  New friends, destined to tear up a dance floor.

(*not their real names. Because I can't remember them.)

Happy Friday, Everyone!  Enjoy the long weekend!  Any fun plans??  We're headed for a hike later this afternoon to kick things off.  There's talk about going to the beach and maybe even hitting up the museum.  And, of course, throwing some things on the grill.  Hope you all have a great one...and maybe even make a new friend or two!

Three Months Old yesterday!  Time is flying!

Tips for Flying with an Infant: Owen's First Flight!

I've been radio silent this past week - on the blog and in the social media world - because I was afraid I might slip and tip off my nieces on a surprise...

Surprise!

We were coming for a visit!  They weren't expecting to see us - or the real delight - meet Owen until we came for a vacation in July and they've been counting the days.  So when a friend's wedding invite came in the mail for a May wedding, we thought it'd be the perfect chance to sneak into town for a quick weekend and surprise the girls.  There were screams and squeals and all around happy faces when the girls came over for the big reveal.

Getting to know each other

Of course, making all this happen meant Owen's first plane ride!

I was a nervous wreck leading up to the flight.  Would we remember everything?  Would we have enough diapers/clothes/wipes/bottles/formula for the five hour flight?  Would we be able to transport everything easily?  Would his little ears hurt??

All smiles when we landed

Turns out, my baby boy is a flying champ.  Maybe he'll be a pilot.  Although I hear flying with him now, at almost three months old, is the ideal time to do so.  It's a whole different experience when he can crawl/talk/need to be entertained.  So we'll cross that bridge (or sky - har har) when we get there.

In the meantime, here are a few things that helped make flying with an infant manageable!

1.  "Flying With Baby" eBook by Meg Collins
Best three bucks I've spent in a long time.  Meg Collins is the brains behind LuciesList.com, which has the best email subscription ever for expecting and new moms.  I love the info she gives and the way she gives it so when I saw that she wrote an eBook about the ins and outs of flying with baby, I knew it'd be worth a gander.  I felt so much more at ease and prepared after reading her book (which I did in about 20 minutes while the bean napped) and can't recommend it enough if you're flying with a baby anytime soon.

2.  Travel Boppy
This thing is ingeniously made.  The way it zips up and is able to be thrown over your shoulder is awesome.  And the velcro flap that allows you to either wear the boppy on your lap or make a little bed for your baby is especially clutch.  We ended up being able to make a little bed for Owen and he napped soundly until the little girl behind us let out an ear-piercing scream.

3.  Extra Seat
Ok, fine.  This is a luxury.  But if you get lucky enough to be on flight that isn't full, you can ask the flight attendant at the counter if some rearranging can be done. We wouldn't have been able to make a bed for him unless we had an extra seat.  And on the way there, we did.  Some poor couple missed their flight and we reaped the rewards.  A kind fellow passenger switched rows with us when her seatmates didn't show up and we were able to spread out.  On the way back, no such luck.  The flight was overbooked.  But we did luck out and had a very nice and understanding seatmate which made things a little easier.  She volunteered to hold the boppy so I could get up easier and didn't mind when we had to change his diaper (more on that soon).  Also, Owen had a crush on her and would not stop smiling and flirting when he was awake.  Mini-Casanova, this one.

4.  Pre-Portioned Formula
They say to try to feed your baby at take off and landing to help alleviate the pain from their ears popping with the pressure change.  I wanted to make sure that we were prepared so instead of needing to measure out the formula mid-flight, I went ahead and made up baggies of formula and labeled them.  He's doing about a 5 oz bottle every time now but occasionally just wants a snack so I made both 5 oz baggies and 2 oz baggies.  I even color-coded them with the marker I used to label them.  One adjustment I would make next time is to bring a small pair of scissors .  You are allowed to bring scissors with blades shorter than 4 inches in your carry-on, according to the TSA website.  This way I could have cut off the tip of the bottom of the baggie and been able to pour the formula into the bottles more effectively.  Pouring through the ziploc part was more difficult than expected!  I tried it at home with snipping off the edge and it worked like a charm.

5.  Changing Mat
Ugh.  Our planes did not have changing tables in their lavatories.  And Owen made a mess on the flight there.  Baby Boy's poos are not for the faint-hearted and I worried that the fumes would make people want to parachute out if I changed his poopy diaper in the cabin.  So to the bathroom I went.  The flight attendant gave me a large plastic bag to place over the closed toilet seat lid.  I had my changing mat with us to lay on top of that.  It still was one of the more harrowing experiences I've had yet with baby.  He was slipping and sliding in there and I was scared to death he was going to fall on the ground.  He could tell I was stressed and started crying.  But we got it done.  Luckily on the way back he pooed right before we boarded and I was able to change him at the airport!  Pee diapers though?  Watch out fellow passengers, I'm laying this changing pad on the seat and I don't care what you think.  I'm not reliving the plastic-on-toilet-seat-slip-and-slide experience again if I can help it.

6.  Extra Outfits
Houdini-Pee struck again and we had to do a costume change mid-flight.  But even if he didn't pee through his sleeper, you never know when a massive spit-up attack or poo-explosion could happen.  So I had an extra sleeper, an extra onesie, pants and socks packed in our diaper bag...just in case.  And it's a good thing I did!  I also had an extra shirt for myself in case any of the aforementioned bodily fluids got on me.

7.  Snap & Go Stroller
This was a last minute purchase.  I read Meg Collins' eBook and she mentioned that her stroller got broken twice due to gate checks and there is nothing you can do about it.  The airline isn't responsible.  She recommended leaving your fancy/jogger/bulky/expensive stroller at home.  I'm glad I listened!  Having a lighter-weight, simple stroller made a huge difference.  It's definitely going to get its use and then some, on subsequent trips and even on trips to Target, I'm sure!

8.  Baby Carrier
Owen slept through security strapped onto me.  I was able to walk through, hands-free, and they just do a hand swipe to check for explosive residue.  Plus, while he was awake, he loved looking around and checking out all of the new sights.








And those were the key things!  Big thanks to my friends Michaela and Jes, who have both flown with their infants recently and gave advice that eased my mind.  They both agreed that flying with baby was relatively easy and now I agree with them too!  Now, we'll see how it goes in July when Baby Boy may be mobile.  He started turning over on this trip - both from back to belly and belly to back.  And when I told my mom this news, she sent me a page from MY baby book.  Turns out I mastered crawling at five months old...looks like Owen might take after his mama!  Should make for an interesting flight in two months...

Happy Mother's Day!

The mail came yesterday and there was a card for me from my husband's aunt.  My first thought was, "Fun!" Who doesn't like getting a card in the mail?  Then I thought, "But why?" It's addressed only to me and my birthday isn't until next month.  My friend was visiting so this wasn't going on just in my head.  I'm saying all this aloud.  And she's looking at me like I'm crazy.  Because when I opened it, it was a Mother's Day card.  My first one ever.  And I burst into tears.  It didn't even cross my mind that it was a MD card!  My friend, of course, realized what it was immediately.  Oh, Meagan.  Duh!  Later in the afternoon I got a package from my cousin with a little present and Mother's Day cards for me, my mom and my grandma...because they are all here for a visit this weekend!

Owen meeting is great-grandma!

Very excited to be spending my first Mother's Day with my parents and grandmother.  My dad and my hubby are going to make us a big breakfast on Sunday morning and I'm already hungry for it.  But tomorrow is my big gift from my husband.  The grandparents are going to babysit while he and I go to get massages at my favorite spa.  Needless to say, I'm a wee bit excited.

Hope you all have wonderful weekends celebrating the moms in your life.  And if you're a first-time mom, don't be like me and be confused as to why you're receiving a little extra attention this weekend.  Even the FedEx guy spent an extra moment today when he delivered a package.  He asked, "Are you a mom?"  I said, "Yes?" (again confused) and he smiled big, "Well then, Happy Mother's Day!"  Delivering packages AND smiles, that guy.

One last thing before I sign off.  Wanted to share with you a post that has been going around on Facebook. It really touched me and even though I've only been a mom for 11 weeks, I identified with the sentiment.  So for all of you moms out there - new, experienced and expecting - I hope you enjoy it too...

"We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart."

~Author unknown

Happy Mother's Day!

A Few Highlights: FREE Museum Pass, Family Visits and Date Night

Long time, no blog!  This past week my computer was having some technical difficulties (it wouldn't connect to the internet) so I had a little vacation from technology.  Which actually worked out well because it coincided with my brother and sister-in-law's visit to LA!  It was their first trip out here and it was a great one.

Proud Aunt and Uncle

Owen is the first nephew for both of them and they reveled in the role.  In addition to hanging out and watching Owen do his baby thing, we went to the Santa Monica Pier, several museums, out to eat, shopping and did a lot of walking.  Whoever said no one walks in LA never met us.  

One of the highlights was going to LACMA (The Los Angeles County Museum of Art).  We had plans to go and check out the art work anyway and we found out an additional perk:

Cultured Baby

The  NexGen Program!  LACMA is the only museum in the country to offer a FREE youth membership to it's young members.  Which means for the next 18 years, Owen gets to go to the museum for FREE and the adult accompanying him also gets in FREE.  Which means both of us get a FREE trip to the museum, any time we go together. I keep capitalizing the word FREE because it was so exciting for me to find out.  This is a museum with works from Picasso, Dali, Matisse, Warhol and Van Gogh, to name a few.  They have an Egyptian exhibit and a pavilion for Japanese art.  It is world class and huge.  I've always said it would take much longer than a day visit to take it all in.  And now we have eighteen years to soak it up.  If you're in LA and you have children, you HAVE to take advantage of this program.   I'm so excited to expose Owen to some of the greatest art in the world.  I know it seems early to get this excited but he actually does love to look at art.  Bright colors and patterns capture his attention.  I'm not joking when I say I'm going to try to make a weekly trip there.  It's never too early to start art appreciation!  Any LA mamas want to join me??

Another exciting part of last week?  

Our first date night!  Uncle Greg and Aunt Steph offered to babysit so we could go out to dinner, just the two of us, for the first time since Owen was born.  We were nervous about going somewhere without him (typical first-time parents) but we got over it and went to one of our favorite spots nearby.  We pretty much talked about Owen and parenthood the whole time we were out (typical first-time parents) but we enjoyed reconnecting over some pasta and wine.

The enforced technology break was full of family and connection and I loved it.  But now that the visitors are gone and the rain falls outside and baby sleeps...I'm glad to be back posting!  Happy Seis de Mayo, everyone!

Celebrate the Good

It's been a heart heavy week.  It's unbelievable that Monday's bombing was just the first of several devastating tragedies to rock our country.  Then came the Senate's blatant refusal to represent the people who elected them as they struck down the gun bill.  Then came the explosion in West, TX, an entire town rocked.  Then came the massive manhunt for the bombers in Boston that started last night and continues as I type this.

Heart heavy.

In response to the entire city of Boston being on lockdown this morning, Kelly Oxford tweeted, "This week has been so shitty. Hearts out to those directly affected by everything. Can we all be on lockdown today? In our beds?"

I feel you.  I locked myself down Monday afternoon and all day Tuesday.  Lately, Owen has fallen into the habit of falling asleep on me immediately after eating. Early this week, instead of putting him down so I could get a few things done, I sat with him.  And just held him.  Sometimes dozing off myself but always feeling grateful that I could hold him close.

I was thinking of Martin Richard.  I couldn't stop thinking about that sweet boy and so I held my boy closer.  I was thinking about Krystle Campbell and Lingzi Lu.  I thought about how my parents would feel if my name took the place of one of theirs.  I never fully grasped how much my parents loved me until I became a parent myself.  My heart aches for all of their families and loved ones.  And for those injured, physically and emotionally by the day's events.

Nope.  I wasn't putting my boy down earlier this week. Everything else could wait.

Owen's at the stage in his life where he's starting to really notice things.  The Wonder Weeks describes it as going from seeing the world as a bowl of soup where everything blends together to noticing that things are separate.  For example, he notices that he has hands or that there is a toy dangling above his head as he lays on his play mat.  It's fascinating to watch him make new discoveries as he finally "sees" the world.

And the world is a scary place.  Especially this week.  I want to protect him from all of the sadness and I know that is impossible.  He's a part of the world now and all that entails.  But where there is darkness, there is also light.  In response to the way the news is reported in the media - all doom and gloom - my husband always says, "I've got 'news' for you:  The world is 95% good."  This week he decided to change the percentage.  Now he says, "The world is 99% good."  He upped the percentage. Because any time there's a tragedy like this week's bombing there is an immediate retaliation of hope.  People show us just how good they can be.  There were countless stories of the bravery of the first responders and the kindness of strangers, offering a place to stay or the coat off their back to cold runners or even just a hand to hold as they passed by.  So I agree with my husband.  The world is 99% good.  And that's what I'll remind Owen of as inevitable tough conversations arise in the future.

There was a quote from Mr. Rogers that made the rounds on social media after Monday that has a similar sentiment:

As we go into the weekend, uncertain of how all will play out, I celebrate the helpers.

And hold the ones I love tight.

6 Weeks: Must-Haves So Far

Guys. Owen slept from 10:30pm to 5:30am last night.  LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!  He'll be seven weeks old tomorrow and I'm hoping this new sleep thing continues.  If not, I'm still going to revel in the glory that was last night (she says, skipping and whistling through her morning).

In the meantime, I've taken stock and thought about our "must haves" that have gotten us through the first six weeks.  Here's what worked for us and I would love to hear what works for you!  I know I have a few expecting mommies that read this blog that might find a list like this helpful.  Disclaimer though:  what works for one baby may not work for another.  It's nice to have ideas of what to check out but there's always room for customization!

In no particular order:

1.  Aden + Anais Swaddle Blankets.  We got home from the hospital and realized we didn't bring any of the swaddle blankets with us.  Panic set in.  For the first few days of Owen's life, there wasn't much time that went by that he wasn't swaddled.  All the nurses would wrap him up like a little burrito and he seemed to love it.  How would we get him to sleep if we couldn't do the same??  Enter Aden + Anais blankets.  I remembered that we had registered for them and after a little trial and error we figured out how to use them to swaddle.  For the first five weeks, we'd swaddle him before bed religiously.  Now we use them as little lap blankets in his rocker.  We used one as a shield over his car seat to protect him from germs when we had to go to urgent care (that's another story). They are really versatile and will surely be used long beyond these first six weeks!

2.  Boon Grass Countertop Drying Rack.  I registered for this little rack because I thought it was cute.  Turns out it's cute AND functional.  I thought I'd just be putting pump stuff out to dry but, as we know, breastfeeding didn't go as planned. This rack is perfect for keeping all of O's feeding needs separate and sanitary.  Also, this bottle brush has played a role in that as well.

(*One thing I didn't think I needed was bottles.  If I could do things differently, I would have a few on hand just in case.  Same goes for formula.  I'd have a small amount on hand, just in case.  The hospital gave us some Enfamil nursette bottles to help supplement but it left Owen a little constipated.  Our pediatrician recommended Gerber Good Start to help with digestion and his tummy seems to handle it better.)

3.  Breast Pump.  I rented a hospital grade pump for the first month and when I turned it in all I had was this manual pump.  A friend let me borrow her electric one to try out but I wasn't able to pick it up until a few days after returning the hospital one.  I used the manual pump to relieve engorgement in the meantime...and loved it.  For some reason, I can get a lot more, a lot more efficiently, with my manual.  So this is what I've been using.  I originally got it to use when traveling and a plug wasn't near by. But now I like the convenience of not having to be plugged in. I can use it watching tv, sitting in bed, at the table while eating breakfast...you pretty much don't want to show up at my place unannounced these days.

4.  Rock-n-Play Sleeper.  I've already talked about my love for this rocker but it's worth repeating.  I love how it cradles him and how it is so lightweight and portable.  I'll be sad when he officially outgrows it.

5.  Zip-front Onesie Sleepers.  Whoever decided button snaps were a good idea on infant clothing must have been way more patient than I.  I love his footed PJs that I can zip him in and out of.  Beats snapping and unsnapping and realizing you missed a snap when trying to get a baby back to sleep as quickly as possible during a middle-of-the-night diaper change.  I can't get enough of these.

6.  Honest Diapers.  The amount of diapers this one goes through makes me really aware of waste.  If I had my own washer and dryer in my place, I might have tried cloth diapering. But since don't, we've opted to use Honest Diapers.  I love them!  They are made of plant-based material, making them more eco-friendly, have no harsh chemicals or dyes and they work great.  Plus, they deliver a monthly supply to you, along with wipes, and the designs are adorable.

7.  Boppy.  It's so much easier to hold him while feeding or just while hanging out when I have the Boppy in my lap.  I also have a Brest Friend. Both are good but I find that I use this pillow more.

8. Pacifiers.  I didn't want to use them before I had the baby.  I didn't want any "nipple confusion" or for him to get hooked on his "passy."  But when he wouldn't stop crying after we got home from the hospital (and since he wasn't really breastfeeding at that point anyway), I remembered that we were given a few pacifiers as shower gifts and I dug them out.  They were a lifesaver that first night.  And when we took him to the doctor three days later and had him using a pacifier, the doc commended us saying, "A lot of parents are hesitant to use pacifiers but the truth is, babies like to suck.  It soothes them.  If they don't have a pacifier, they'll find their fingers.  And it's a lot easier to wean them off a pacifier than it is their thumb."  Good enough for me.

9.  Rocker/Recliner.  I know a lot of people opt for the sleek gliders that can fit in their baby's nursery.  Our nursery has no room for a rocker so we decided to get a rocker/recliner that we can keep downstairs in our living space.  Thank goodness we did.  And not for rocking the baby, like you may think.  I slept in this bad boy for the first two weeks after getting home.  With the c-section, I didn't feel comfortable laying flat in a bed.  It hurt for some reason.  Plus, it was difficult to get out of bed without using abdominal muscles and I was paranoid about busting a stitch.  So Dan brought the chair upstairs and I convalesced there.  Now it's back downstairs and I hold and rock and feed Owen in it. I've never loved a chair so much.

10. Activity Mat.  He loves his activity mat. He'll lay there and look around, cooing at the animals. And tummy time is easier with the little pillow that comes with this mat.  That way his face isn't smashed into the floor.  And he holds up his head pretty well now, which I attribute to time hanging out face down.

11.  Fingernail Clippers.  I swear, I think my water broke because this kid scratched his way out.  He's had long, sharp nails since he was born and I have to trim them every couple of days.  I keep these clippers next to my rocker so that they're handy.  I only clip when he's in a deep nap mode...otherwise he squirms too much!







12. Thermometer.  We use the one the hospital gave us. Why?  We check his temperature to ease our minds.  He's sleeping too much or too little.  Or he's eating too much or too little.  Or he's crying too much or too little.  Does he feel a little too cool or a little too warm?  There are plenty of times to feel worried with an infant. If he's in normal range, we're just being paranoid.  If he's not, it's time to call the doctor.  And get comfortable using it rectally - that's the temperature that counts.

13.  Bassinet Pad.  A friend recommended these and I bought three. I love them!  Since Owen's been sleeping in our room, we use one of these on our bed to change him in the night and avoid any accidents.  We also have one downstairs that we use on this oversized chair so we don't have to go upstairs to his changing table every time.



The same friend who recommended the bassinet pads sent me a comprehensive list of her must-haves when I was pregnant.  It was a great jumping off point for us so I thought I'd share the love and pay it forward.  Big thanks to Michaela for inspiring this post!  And, as Owen gets older, I'll continue making must-have lists for each different stage.

Happy Weekend, All!

A Thank You, Milestones and A Haircut

Happy Friday All!

First, I want to give a big thank you to all of you beautiful women who commented on here, on Facebook and sent a messages after my last post.  Your words of encouragement and hearing about your experiences mean more than you know.  Actually, you probably do.  These first days of motherhood can feel very isolating and it's reassuring that that feeling is not as lonely as it masks itself as.  I feel so blessed to be a part of this motherhood-sisterhood and sharing with you all makes my personal experience more manageable.  So, THANK YOU.

More milestones!  Tomorrow marks Owen's sixth week in the world which also marks the end of my convalescence.  There's a strict six week recovery period after a c-section where activity is kept to a minimum: no lifting anything heavier than my baby, no exercising - especially abdominal exercises - and no sex (ha).  I have my check-up with the doctor next Wednesday and I can't wait to get the all clear.  I've been feeling pretty good physically.  The pain from the surgery has been gone for a few weeks now.  And my daily (or every-other-day) walks have gotten easier and longer.  I can't wait to get back into some sort of workout routine!  Which is a phrase I never thought I'd utter.  But here I am, jonesing to get back out there and go for a run.  And I really want to do some plank exercises to tone the tummy.  And lunges.  This booty is taking on a life of its own...  I'm researching stroller workouts to try! Any suggestions?

Another milestone:  Owen is smiling now!  He did his first social smile on his fifth week birthday and it was a couple minutes of smiles and awesomeness.  Then he didn't smile again for a few days.  And then he did.  And now even he seems to smile when I change his diaper - which is quite a difference from him screaming whenever I changed him in the early days!  Also, I'm pretty sure he's giggling in his sleep.  No giggles in awake life yet but it's the cutest darn thing when he seems to be dreaming happy dreams.

Also, this is a thing, right?  A major life change happens and you chop all your hair off?  I feel like a lot of women do this after getting married, divorced, or, in my case, after having a baby.  It's actually something I've been wanting to do for awhile now but changing your look in my line of work can sometimes be costly.  A major haircut means getting new headshots (which are expensive) and sometimes means you're now a different 'type.'  But since I needed to get new headshots done after having a baby anyway, I figured now was the time to go under the scissors.  It's a little shorter than I expected but it's growing on me (pun intended).  Here's a recent family photo.  My boys are so handsome!

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

One Month: What I've Learned

Cake!

Owen celebrated his one month birthday this past Saturday...already.  A month has gone by and it has been the longest and quickest month of my life.  It feels like an important milestone.  We made it through!  Here are a few things I learned...

1. When people say that "Being a mom is the hardest job," they're not just saying it.  I'm going to admit to a bit of cynicism here: I always figured people just said that as a way to feel better about not working or about not having a "real" job.  And for that naivete, I apologize.  Profusely.  Motherhood is no joke, y'all.  And from what I've heard from fellow moms since becoming a mom, this first month is one of the hardest periods of all.  I can say without hyperbole that this has been the hardest time of my life.  I'll delve into it more in a separate post but between the hormones,  the sleep deprivation, the pain from c-section recovery and the feelings of incompetence and helplessness, this adjustment period has knocked me sideways. I don't think I would have believed it could be this hard before I had Owen.  In fact, when I asked one of my good friends who has two daughters, "Why didn't you tell me it was this hard??" She said emphatically, "Because you never would have believed me."  And it's true.

2.  Having help CANNOT be underestimated.  It's tough.  Our family is all on the east coast.  So figuring out the best time for them come out was difficult.  I wanted my family to be able to come as soon as they wanted to but since we had no idea if Owen would come early/on time/late, it was difficult to plan. We finally decided that since he was due on 2/20, my parents would book their flights for the first week of March.  That way if he was a few days early or late, they'd still be here when he was new.  Plus, that would give my husband and I a little time to ourselves so we could figure out a routine.  At least, that is the way the thinking went.  INSERT LAUGHTER HERE.  We got home on a Tuesday.  My mom, dad and sister were scheduled to arrive on that following Saturday.  I called my mom hysterical on Wednesday and told her I don't care what she needed to do or what it costs - we'll pay it - but she needed to get on the first flight possible. I needed her.  Desperately.  Maybe it would have been different if I had delivered vaginally.  Maybe we would have been better able to manage during those first days.  But I didn't. And things were dire here.  Babies don't like change.  Guess who didn't sleep that first night home?  If you guessed all three of us, you'd be correct.  Owen would scream if we weren't holding him.  I wasn't able to get up to pick him up.  I couldn't get up to change a diaper.  I couldn't walk down the stairs to make food.  I couldn't nurse my baby because my milk wasn't coming in.  Factor in being an emotional wreck from the swinging hormones, it wasn't pretty here.  Dan was basically a single parent and my caretaker, and it was too much for one person.  My mom was a saint and rearranged her life, dropped everything and was here by Thursday morning.  Just knowing she was on her way helped us breathe easier.  She was here for two weeks, we had three days alone and then Dan's parents arrived.  They left on Tuesday.  And we are in a much better place to be on our own.  Which leads me to the next thing I learned...

3.  It does get better.  During the first week, when people said it would get better, I just cried.  I didn't see how it would.  I didn't see an end to the feeding/sleeping/crying.  And when I say "crying," I'm talking more about me than Owen.  But somehow, three-hour interval by three-hour interval, things started improving.  We started finding routines.  I stopped being so hard on myself to do everything "right."  My hormones started balancing out.  The pain from surgery started to wane.  Owen and I started to figure each other out.  I started recognizing his cries - hungry versus tired versus dirty diaper.  And everything started to feel a little more manageable.

4.  There is no tomorrow.  At least, at first. It's three-hour-interval to three-hour-interval...initially.  That first week, Owen lost a pound and he was already small to begin with.  This meant we had a strict feeding schedule of every three hours.  And this boy never woke up to tell us he was hungry.  I had to set an alarm, wake him up by changing his diaper and then keep him awake as he nursed by tickling him or putting my hand in cold water and then on his skin (doctor's orders!).  And when nursing was a struggle, those three-hour-intervals involved more wrestling to get him to eat than it did rest.  So days and nights just blended together.  This past month has felt like one long day.  But we got his weight up!  He's around nine pounds now and is feeding on demand...he actually lets me know when he's hungry.  Days are starting to feel a little more delineated.  Of course, last night he decided he wanted to hang out and party from 3:30am to 5:30am...so there is always something new.  But the alarm system is a little more lax now.

5. Breastfeeding is hard.  And that's ok.  I touched on this a bit before but we really struggled with breastfeeding.  And that was a tough mental hurdle for me.  I wanted to breastfeed exclusively.  I wanted to breastfeed for a year. But that wasn't in the cards for us.  And I beat myself up about it initially.  But the more moms I talk to, the more I realize how common this is.  And I started to be a little more forgiving with myself.  I still pump.  He gets about half breast milk, half formula at this point. And oddly enough, he started latching on as "snacks" between mealtimes when he went through a growth spurt last week.  So it seems like feeding from the source is still a possibility.  I never would have thought that after thirty days we'd get back to where I had hoped we started...but here we are.  However, I'm not giving up bottle feeding on the overnight feedings!  That has been the secret to my sanity.  Instead of fighting for the better part of an hour to get him to latch, feed, burp, etc., I put together a bottle and we're done in fifteen minutes.  And we're back to bed.  And we get much needed rest.  I'm sure there are purists out there that will tell me I'm doing it wrong but this works for us.  And we're all happier for it.  And that counts for A LOT.

6.  Paper plates are bad for the environment...but great for new moms.  Soon-to-be moms, stock up now.  Using paper plates for your meals will save you a lot of grief.  There will be plenty of other things to clean up.  If the environmental impact bothers you (as it does me) I just remind myself that this is a temporary fix and I'll get back to friendlier eco habits soon enough.

7.  Make lists.  I never know how long Owen will nap but I do know my chore list just keeps growing now that we're on our own again.  The laundry is piling up, the bathroom needs cleaned, the bottles need boiled, I need to shower or brush my teeth...you know, all the tedious but necessary things around the house.  And yes, while sometimes I'll nap with him, sometimes I need to get a few things done.  And it's really easy to do things that aren't as high on the priority list first (ahem, surfing Twitter and Facebook) and then run out of time to do the bigger things because he's awake again and I'm on baby duty.  I'm still working on this one.  But the goal is to write down all that I need to do and then rank them.  And do them by importance.  Ugh.  Like laundry.

8. You can't have too many newborn clothes (especially with a boy).  I don't know how he does it but during the first three weeks, every time he peed, he managed to escape his diaper and soak whatever he was wearing and whoever was holding him.  We tried three different brands of diapers but nothing could contain this boy.  He has Houdini pee.  We were going through nearly ten outfits a day, it seemed.  His pee is a little more under control now but every once in awhile, it makes a break for it.  He's already on his third outfit today.  Hence the need to prioritize laundry.  And have lots of itty-bitty clothes around the house.

9.  This Rock-n-Play Sleeper is the bomb.  We tried a lot of different ways to get this boy comfortable enough to fall asleep.  He doesn't like to sleep.  He fights it like he doesn't want to miss out on anything.  We were having him sleep in his pack-n-play.  Then we tried his crib.  And a little co-sleeper that went in the bed.  He was swaddled and warm but it didn't matter.  Then we tried the Rock-n-Play and it rocked our world.  He loves it.  He's on an incline, which helps with digestion and congestion but it also lets him look out for awhile.  He'll contently sit in it and watch us eat dinner or watch me clean up the living room.  Then...he'll fall asleep!  It cradles him just right so he doesn't feel like he's laying in the middle of nowhere.  And it's so lightweight we can take it upstairs and downstairs easily.  It's a major must-have for us.  The link above takes you to Target's site, which is where I got it from.

10.  Trust your instincts. We have them for a reason.  Everyone has an opinion or a story or a thought on how you should do things.  And all the advice can get overwhelming.  So here's the one piece of advice I did listen to:  Take a deep breath, take a step back, and listen to yourself.  We're finding what's right for me and my baby.  And what's right for us may be different than what's right for others.  But we made it through this first month.  And I'm listening to him grunt and coo in his swing right now as he fights sleep. Life is good.

I'm Sara Haley's "March Fit & Healthy Mommy-to-Be"!

First!  I am flattered and honored to be featured this month as Sara Haley's "Fit & Healthy Mommy-to-Be of the Month"!  Sara interviewed me before Owen was born and I really hope you'll jump over to her site to read her write up. If you've been reading along on here, you know that Sara's workout DVD "Expecting More" was my main exercise routine while I was pregnant and I highly recommend it.  She has a new workout DVD called "Sweat Unlimited" that I can't wait to check out.  It's for anyone with a busy schedule but was designed with the new mom in mind with five different workouts that vary in time commitment, from 5 minutes to 45 minutes.  Only two and half more weeks until I can start working out again and I can't wait!  Thanks for the great fitness tools, Sara!  And thank you for featuring me on your blog!

*****

PJ Party today...and everyday

It's been almost a month since Owen was born and I think I'm starting to find our rhythm.  Starting.  I still have my backslide moments of bursting into tears because I'm so-tired-and-he-won't-sleep-and-all-I-want-to-do-is-brush-my-teeth but we're getting there.  We're finding our new normal together.  His new normal this week has been to feed constantly.  He's just constantly hungry.  He's being fed every three hours with either a bottle of breastmilk or a bottle of formula (I still need to fill you in on my breastfeeding woes) but it seems like every hour on the hour he wants to eat again.  I figured this out because he'll start screaming and no amount of rocking/shushing/singing/swaying does the trick.  So in a revelatory moment, I popped a boob in his mouth and ta-da!  He stopped squawking.  And this has continued to work. Which is a miracle in itself, given our breastfeeding woes:  Basically, he didn't know how to suck initially in the hospital so the lactation nurses had me start pumping to make sure my milk came in.  But then my milk didn't come in until Day 10.  So prior to that, his pediatrician had us start supplementing with formula.  And now that my milk is here, it's in low production - I've never felt engorged or experienced leaking or anything.  And even if he nurses for the recommended 15 minutes per side, he's still hungry.  But getting him to nurse for that long is a struggle.  I think he gets frustrated because he isn't getting enough.  So...yeah. We've been figuring things out.  But all of a sudden he wants to nurse.  All. The. Time.  Which will be an interesting thing to juggle starting tomorrow because my in-laws get into town and it's like an issue of National Geographic in my living room.  I'll have to learn to be a bit more modest for a few days.

Also!  I started writing out the birth story but it is a long one and since I only get snippets of time to write it's been a slow trudge. But hopefully I'll get it up soon.  Now that we're finding our rhythm maybe I'll find more opportunities to write.  Eh, who am I kidding?  I'm sure the beat will change again before I know it.  Until then...

Owen is Here!

First Family Photo

Proud mama

That face!

Owen Daniel, born on February 23, 2013...

It's been seventeen days since Owen came into the world.  Right now he's sleeping and has only fifteen more minutes before I need to feed him again so this post will be brief.  Hoping to get a few more minutes to write during his next nap.  This nap-time-round I also took a nap and then went for a walk.  The walks are part of my c-section recovery - doctor's orders to take a little walk every day, a little further every day.  Thankfully it's gorgeous here today.  LA has its perks.

I'm anxious to tell you about the past two and half weeks, starting with the labor.  I had certain expectations...none of which happened.  I've also been knocked backwards by the recovery process and the adjustment period of taking care of a newborn.  From breast feeding struggles to getting any sort of rest, there has been a major learning curve.  I was particularly surprised by the post-partum depression that snuck up on me.  I expected some sort of form of the "baby blues" but this was more than expected.  Basically "expectations" have been shattered and taken on a whole new meaning in the past weeks.  I'm learning.  We're learning from each other.  And this project is worth it.

But for now, nap time is over and it's time to feed this little guy...

More at the next "break"...